Get ready for a super long post because there's actually 200 things! I found this online like 5 years ago and just found it saved on my drive right now. I hope it gives you some laughs :P
100 Things We Learned from the Princess Bride
1. If you have a wheelbarrow or a holocaust cloak - you should let people know right away.
2. Giants are pretty good at rhyming.
3. If you work miracles, than your first name should start with an M; it just sounds better that way.
4. Just because a place has “Insanity” in the name, you can’t just assume that a lot of crazy people live there. Maybe no one lives there at all, and they just named it that to keep people away.
5. Whenever you’re temporarily paralyzed, give bluffing a shot - you just never know.
6. To blave means to bluff
7. There's nothing better than true love, except perhaps a nice MLT- Mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich where the mutton is just right
8. You shouldn't go swimming for at least an hour after taking Miracle Max's pills
9. If you have six fingers on your right hand, you're screwed.
10. This is a kissing book, but someday you may not mind so much.
11. Australia is entirely peopled by criminals.
12. Inigo and Wesley are right-handed.
13. Don't bother learning to track a falcon on a cloudy day; it won't buy you true love.
14. There is nothing nearby....not for miles.
15. Shrieking Eels call louder when they are about to feed on human flesh....so next time you’re swimming, when you hear shrieking GET OUT OF THE WATER!
16. Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
17. Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line- unless his name is Vizzini.
18. Lemon juice enhances the sensation of paper cuts.
19. When the job goes wrong, go back to the beginning.
20. If you ever come across four white horses, take them with you and you might just do something right.
21. If you skip the part where the bride says "I do," then you're not technically married.
22. Death cannot stop true love- all it can do is delay it for a while.
23. Rodents of Unusual Size do exist.
24. Fire Swamp Trees are "Actually quite lovely".
25. But you still wouldn't want to build a Summer Home in the Fire Swamp, though.
26. Sometimes the people following you aren't using the same wind you are using
27. People in masks cannot be trusted (generally speaking)
28. Bonetti's defence is fitting on rocky terrain
29. Thibalt cancels out Capa Ferro, unless your opponent has studied his Agrippa
31. Masks are terribly comfortable- everyone ought to wear them.
32. The sound of true suffering sounds roughly like "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
33. Iocaine powder is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.
34. On the upside, it is possible to build up immunity to iocaine powder.
21. There have been lots of "Dread Pirate Roberts'"
47. Lies do not become men of action.
21. Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
22. There are clicks right before the fire shoots up in a fire swamp.
23. There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world.
35. Some people are the biggest and the strongest through no fault of their own.
37. It's strange to start conversations by asking if someone has six fingers on their right hand.
38. Threatening to tear someone's arms off is an effective form of persuasion.
39. Best not to kill Inigo Montoya's father, unless you want to prepare to die.
40. When you are trying to escape via Fire Swamp, take a side trail... there is a good chance that they will be waiting for you at the main exit.
41. Crushing someones head with a rock is not very sportsman-like.
42. You can trust anyone as long as they swear on the soul of their father.
43. Climbing the cliffs of insanity is not as easy as it looks.
44. Albinos are funny.
47. "As you wish" means I love you.
48. Fezzik was unemployed in Greenland.
49. Whenever something won't be easy just think, "Try ruling the world sometime".
50. Inigo doesn't swim.
51. Fezzik can only dog paddle.
52. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.
53. Fezzik IS the Brute Squad.
54. Fezzik's way isn't very sportsman-like.
55. The Dread Pirate Roberts before Westley was a man named Ryan.
56. And before him was a man named Cummerbund.
57. If you're ever kidnapped by a masked pirate, make sure he's not your former farm boy who is madly in love with you before pushing him down a steep hill.
60. When you're sick, Grandpa is going to come and pinch your cheeks... even if Mom says he might not.
61. Video games had really bad graphics, but we didn't know it!
62. Kissing parts are okay at the end of the story.
64. Old priests can't pronounce words with "R" in them (i.e. "Mawidge is what bwings us togevah today. That bwessed awangement. That dweam wiffin a dream!")
66. When you get pushed down a very steep hill, you will start to look a lot like a stunt double, but really it is still you all the time!
67. If you've always written "grey" under the "eye color" portion of forms, you've been filling them out wrong. You real eye color is "the sea after a storm."
68. If someone cuts off your hands, nose and eyes, people will shout "Dear God, what is that thing!"
69. "As you wish" is the best pick up line ever!
72. Only The Great Prince Humperdink Can get a whole group of Men and Horses up the Cliffs of Insanity.
73. Sometimes the bad guy doesn't die at the end of the story, but that doesn't mean he wins.
74. Get used to disappointment.
75. $65.00 is enough to buy a miracle if it is for a noble cause.
76. Wesley is a quick healer.
77. A little head jiggle is not enough to bring happiness when you are up against 60 men and only have a half hour to plan.
79. Picking a full-grown woman up and placing her on a moving horse is easier than you would expect
80. One should have fun while storming a castle.
81. There is definately a difference between "mostly dead" and "fully dead"
83. Peasants can call the queen the "queen of slime" and get away with it, but only if its a dream.
84. Flame spurts are preceded by popping noises.
85. Lightening sand is MUCH faster than quick sand.
86. Making a war happen is good money.
87. Intimidation works much better than actually fighting 60 guards.
88. Chocolate coating helps pills go down much easier.
89. Beautiful women are always in peril.
90. Damsels are unable to do anything but stand there when you are being attacked by a R.O.U.S.
91. Your wife will get angry if you deny he said "True Love".
92. Happily Ever After is the best kind of ending.
93. So is kissing.
94. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.
95. He's only gaining because I'm carrying three people and he has only himself.
96. Men with six fingers run like a little girl before they fight you.
97. Never look away when playing a game with poison.
98. Not to 50!
99. Marriage to a stuffy prince stinks!
100. We have all seen this movie way too much, but don't care!
101. It's possible to suck life out of someone.
102. Evil princes make great villains
103. Just because nobody's survived the Fire Swamp before doesn't mean you won't either.
107. Don't trust people when they tell you they're lost circus performers...
109. With all dead, all you can do is look for loose change
110. The vulcan neck pinch does work.
111. Don't ride for miles, with nothing nearby.
112. If someone is going to hit you over the head with the pommel of a sword. Don't let him do it for real. It hurts and slows things down.
116. Dunking a sick man's head in hot and cold water will energize him.
117. After climbing the cliffs of INSANITY, you need only a minute to compose yourself before sword fighting.
125. If you're a senile old king, and your new daughter-in-law has just told you that she will be committing suicide within the hour, you can ignore her.
130. It's possible that the Dread Pirate Roberts killed your true love; he's killed a lot of people.
131. The Dread Pirate Roberts never takes prisoners; he cannot afford to make exceptions.
133. Mawiage is what brings us together, today.
134. A great swordfight took place here.
135. Somebody has beaten a giant.
136. Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato are morons.
138. A fire blower can bring people back to life, along with a little motivation.
139. Your pig fiancee is too late.
140. People are actually named Inigo.
141. You use different moves when fighting half a dozen people than when you fight just one.
145. It's totally normal for local fishermen to take pleasure cruises at night through eel infested waters
149. Inigo Montoya hates waiting.
150. Inigo Montoya knows something you don't know.
151. We have learned more than 100 things from The Princess Bride.
156 - Vizzini truly has a dizzying intelect.
157. The Montoyas have never taken defeat easily.
158. You were not hired for your brains you hippopotamic land mass!
161. A certain level of intoxication might keep you from acquiring Brandy.
162. No we don't have to hear the kissing part, skip on to the fire swamp.
163. Agility is a good thing too.
164. Giants' headaches are nothing to be jealous of.
165. Whenever you feel like dying, feel free to visit the fire swamp.
166. Death first, surrender later.
167. Nobody withstands the machine.
168. Suicide is a selfish act, one should really think of the perfect breasts shortage crisis first.
169. 30-10=20
170. Yellin has the gate key.
171. Killing the dark one is not that easy.
179. Threatening to rip someone's arms off will get you the gate key.
184. That was a strange wedding.
185. Even if you've been a passively naive wimp through the whole movie, you do get one scene to finally stick it to the man before he locks you in your room and then "mawies" you against your will.
186. You will show up to said "mawidge" fully jeweled, coiffed and gowned, and just stand there when you know your true love is coming.
187. Princess Bride 2007: When you know your true love is coming, kick the evil prince in the shins and run. Really, it will save confusion later.
192. After being mostly dead, you shouldn't go swimming for at least an hour
199: Chasing people around the room saying "Humperdink" will ensure miracles
200: Mawwage. Mawwage is what bwings us togevah today. Mawwage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam wifin a dweam.
203-she doesn’t die at this point.
204 – She’s not a witch, she’s your wife.
205- You mocked me once, never do it again!
My favorites are 12, 14, 47, 57, 69, 135, 150, and 205. Hope you enjoyed it.
I just can't WAIT to be king!
